Catching up with Everyone

February 3, 2008
Dear Family,
It seems like forever since we have been together – although it hasn’t even been two months since Wynn and James got married. So much has happened.
I must say how grateful I am for the birth of Clara. Mom tells me that she is a sweet baby, full of wide eyed wonder, and very sweet and gentle in her nature. I am glad that the birth was quick and that both Emy and Clara are healthy and doing well. I have thought many times of Andi and how much we miss her. Her passing is somehow sweeter with the arrival of her sister. How happy I am for Ben and Emy and their little family.
I am so pleased with the marriages of Wynn and Libby. Mark and James are such wonderful men, determined to be independent providers, solicitous of the feelings of their brides, moving forward with their lives. It is fun to watch Libby and Mark, they are always up to something, always with an adventure just around the corner. Wynn and James have created space in their apartment that reflects their tastes and speaks to their appreciation of beauty and the larger world. How grateful I am for these new lives together.
Dane is starting to get work. He has a temporary assignment at E! network and has been able to shoot some photos for pay. He has a nice living arrangement and he continues to do what needs to be done to establish a network that can help him reach his professional goals. He has found a ward and is determined to find his way in the world. How wonderful it is to watch his life unfold, how grateful I am for his integrity in a very challenging environment.
Mom and I, mostly Mom, have spent many days looking for homes. The day before she was to leave for Oregon she prayed extra long and hard for guidance, to find a home that could be a place of peace and comfort for all of us. That afternoon we found two homes that fit the bill. The first one we were able to show to Mark, Libby, James, and Wynn. They loved it, as did we, but as we went back and forth to buy it another buyer came in and pre-empted us. We moved on to the second home and have gone back and forth for several days. With any luck we will have an accepted sales contract on Monday.
The home is in a community called Pepperwood, at about 108th south and 23rd east, at the foot of a beautiful set of mountains that we can see out of our front windows. It is fully finished, so we wouldn’t have to do any work to move in, and has an extra garage. We agonized over it a bit, because we will have to be frugal as we settle into our new life, but honestly, that has been the case whenever we have bought a new home. Sometimes it is good to take a step back and evaluate and we have done that with this home. We are comfortable that we can handle things and we are hopeful that we can arrive at a successful conclusion to our home searching efforts.
I did attend the ward this morning and found it to be a wonderful and strong congregation. Their program listed twenty missionaries serving around the world including two senior couples, one president over a temple. The families mostly had teen-agers, although there a few older folks, and several people came up to greet me. It was snowing and there was a good contingent out shoveling walks plus there were plenty of young men to pass the sacrament and many father figures in gray suits and white shirts. Someone with a last name of Cannon was sustained to a Relief Society calling. I felt right at home. I didn’t stay beyond Sacrament Meeting because I recognized the name of the broker representing the seller in the program and the sellers themselves are in the ward. I didn’t want to get into any awkward moments with any of these folks as we are still negotiating the purchase of the home.
I must say something about your mother. She and I do things differently, she is much more detail oriented than I and much more willing to take the time and effort necessary to truly uncover value. She has gone to the end of the world to find this house and we certainly would not be where we are without her continued efforts to find a home for the family. I have been frustrated with the process, and that has not helped her, but she has preserved and I am so grateful for her willingness to get in and dig until the job is done. You all have been blessed by this quality of hers and this is only another example. Perseverance is much more important to success than ability, than smarts, than even luck. She has taught this to all of you and it is a wonderful lesson.
I have been thinking about President Hinckley. What a wonderful person he was, a great leader, a truly effective communicator, a tireless example. But what I will always remember him for is his kindness.
When I was very young he was my Stake President. I don’t remember him at all but I remember going to the East Millcreek Stake Center, where he presided, during the construction of that building. I just remember lots of men on Saturday morning running around with big metal beams and bricks everywhere. This was only one of many construction projects that he directed. For most men that would be enough. For him it was only a start.
President Hinckley’s father, Bryant Hinckley had two families. The first family, which included Aunt Carol, was devastated by the early passing of the mother. When Bryant remarried, a second family was started. The children from the first marriage were raised by the sisters of the dead mother. These two families would gather at various occasions and were close as could be given the different living arrangements and different ages. Gordon Hinckley was the oldest child of the second family, Aunt Carol was the third (I think) youngest child of the first family.
As Aunt Carol aged, her younger half brother, often visited her. My Mom and Dad spent a fair amount of time with Aunt Carol and from time to time would be there when President Hinckley and his wife would visit. My parents enjoyed those moments and always remarked at the good nature of the Hinckleys. Later, when Aunt Carol was admitted to a nursing home for the last three months of her life, my Dad said that he could always tell when President Hinckley had come by to visit. It was the habit of the nursing home staff to avail themselves of the treats that were brought for patients when those patients could not partake of them. President Hinckley would always bring a little box of chocolates for Aunt Carol and those chocolates were never eaten. The staff, out of respect for the giver of the gift, would not eat the chocolates he brought. So Dad always knew when he had come to visit Aunt Carol.
When Carol passed away I went out for the funeral. Dad told me that President Hinckley would be coming to the viewing for just a few minutes as he had three other viewings to attend that evening. He had just finished a multiple day international tour a couple of days prior, had been a touch ill, and we were not certain of his ability to get out and about. But he and his wife came, early before crowds gathered, and shook hands with the family members. He was about my height, but was stockier, and had a firm handshake. He greeted us all with energy and when it was my turn he asked where I lived and what I did. I told him Chicago and that I was a stake clerk. He wasn’t interested in my church calling at all but wanted to know what I did for a living. When I told him I worked for an investment bank he smiled and said “Good for You”. And then he was on to another hand to shake. Quick, interested, and pleasant. That was his way.
Of course he came to the funeral, giving generously of his time in the middle of a busy work day. I remember being near the door as he came through and his daughter had been waiting there to meet him. He was surrounded by people as he came in and she had to push through the crowd a bit to get next to him. I saw her pass him a folded newspaper clipping which he put into his suit coat pocket. “Dad” she said, “I saw this funny story in the paper and I thought you would enjoy it”. He acknowledged her with a quick smile and pat on the arm and moved on. He was always busy and I think there were times when his family missed his company. I remember one of the Hinckley grandsons moved into the Naperville Stake and once as we were talking he expressed a tiny bit of sadness about how busy his grandfather was. The burden of being a leader is always born not just by the person, but also by their family. The Hinkleys bore that burden well, with manners and grace. They were humble about their father and grandfather when they easily could have been proud or resentful.
Mom has told me about meeting President Hinckley when she was a teen-ager and not involved with the church. She had a friend her age, Jane Hinckley, who was a daughter and a time or two Mom was in the Hinckley home. She remembers meeting Elder Hinckley and wondering why he always wore a suit and a white shirt and tie. He greeted her, and other of her daughters’ friends, with a handshake and some polite conversation. He was involved with his daughters’ life but he wasn’t one to stand around chit chatting.
When your grandmother passed away President Hinckley called Dad to express his sadness and asked if he might come to the funeral. The service was to be held on a Saturday, and President Hinckley was conducting a day long regional training meeting on the other side of the city. He told Dad that he didn’t know for sure if he could come, but he would try. He arrived at the funeral just as it was starting, took his place on the stand, and graciously spoke, commenting on Grandma’s propensity to make quilts for and with others. He then left as the service ended and returned to the training session that he had stepped away from to provide comfort to our family. We later found out that his lunch break had been spent at the funeral.
I will miss President Hinckley. His wave of the cane, his constant moving forward, his ability to push without hurting, to encourage without demeaning, his quick smile. All of these are wonderful traits for a leader. But for me the greatest measure of the man was his desire to bless others in personal ways. I witnessed some of those acts of kindness and am sure that the things he did for others in small ways are too many to be numbered. Those acts also are what made him a great man. His example made me want to do better.
Well, I am going to try and post this on the family blog. We’ll see what luck I have. But however this may get to you, know that I love you all and so happy for your good lives.
Love,
Dad